Things That Matter

Nov 23rd, 2023
book


Chapter 3

So many people would rather be disappointed and unfulfilled doing things that are safe than go through the anxiety of chasing valuable dreams and goals. Sadly, they prefer a safe, meaningless status quo over taking a risk that might lead to failure—or might lead to success.

I have a friend, David, who is a successful journalist. And like many journalists, he’s long had a secret desire to write a novel. But he kept putting it off and putting it off. He told himself, I need to build up some savings, because writing a novel is time consuming and may never pay a dollar. That was true. But it also became an excuse. He had a version of atychiphobia. What if I write the novel and it’s no good and nobody reads it? he wondered. If that happened, David would no longer be able to tell himself, I have the potential to write a great story. Because if he’d given it his best and failed, a part of his self-perception would be disproved

For example, people with fear of failure may…

  • focus their efforts more on preventing losses than on achieving gains
  • avoid situations in which they expect to be evaluated or judged
  • set lower standards for themselves
  • create obstacles to undermine their own efforts to achieve their goals so that later they can blame the obstacles

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