The concept of checkpoints always leaves us falling short. My younger self dreaded being 25 for this reason. It started in 2019, during our internship in South Korea. The existentialist personality in all of us was blooming. Life is sad and miserable, we would rant. The age of 25 jokingly came up as the scapegoat. We found comfort in the thought that sadness is not a problem for our present selves and we can push it off to our future self. We don’t have to do anything about it right now! And that we will re-evaluate life when we are 25!
As I celebrated my 25th birthday, I couldn’t help but recall that pact. So it was more the reason to write an update to seoul family (extended) and pasta kiske yahan group.
Reflections on 24:
Exciting.
My 24th year was a whirlwind of excitements, marked by significant shifts. It was full of motion, of newer things. A lot of “life” happened this year. After returning to India in October 2022, I spent a few months at home before diving into work at Babblebots in Mumbai. Although I had lived in Korea for two years, Mumbai brought a new dimension to my experience — adulting in its truest form.
Fond memories of Korea linger – horror movie nights and houseparties, eating marashangyo, the competitive TT matches and the perpetual WhatsApp spams. Love how bit of distance can make you feel nostalgic. The nostalgia is amplified by the satisfaction of the decision to transition from a big company to a very early stage startup. (example of repainting of past that happens)
Travel was a notable part of my year. I visited Europe with my sister covering Netherlands, Belgium and Czech. It was a great holiday that increased my view of the World. I travelled locally too – from scuba diving in Gokarna, dancing at thalassa in Goa, counting the number of “gin” in naagin gin gin song in Lonavala, another office outings in Goa, and surfing in Varkala.
The days felt more intense. There were a lot of ups and down it didn’t feel comfortable on most days. I felt lacking, which was a good thing. It made me push myself in various aspects.
Learning.
The unstructured environment of startup taught me to prioritize and manage my time effectively. I gained understanding of the startup space, which I was unfamiliar with before. Both Mumbai and Babblebots played crucial roles in this transformative journey.
I exercised a lot, made a lot of progress at gym with the help of a trainer. I ran two half marathon (limping through the first one), the second one with a time of 2hrs and 13mins.
I took beginner classes and learnt how to swim. I absolutely loved driving in Korea and hence bought a car here. I got to practice that a lot more in Mumbai traffic, which was great. (highly recommend everyone to pick up swimming and driving, takes about 20 days each)
Most importantly, I resumed my blog, in the later half of the year. Writing for my blog provided clarity about life; thoughts decluttered and crystallized. This year, I plan to significantly increase my writing output, aiming for approximately ten times the amount I wrote in 2023.
Negative feelings and eventual clarity.
Worries about my career intermittently clouded my mind.
Over the past few years I had started undervaluing myself, never feeling like I deserve something. I wouldn’t try because I was afraid I would fail. I would devour myself into self-improvement books in a hope for a better future. It had become an addiction. Though it took time, I came out of it and I reached a lot of breakthrough in negative thinking pattern. My views on career and self improvement evolved. (planning to write about this soon)
Emotionally, the year was a struggle. Anxiety, envy, and constant comparison with others took a toll. I realized the need to be more present and less future-oriented for a happier life.
In a way, I was the reason why I was unhappy. I kept myself from being happy in the present because being happy to me was like ceasing to move forward. Being content with myself would stop all motivation I have of improvement. I am growing out of this thinking.
I oscillated between days of being highly motivated and days of being unable to get out of bed. I hadn’t set very specific measurable goals last year but the three major goals were (i) find a better career fit with immense growth opportunity, (ii) write a ton and (iii) get fitter. My personal evaluation is I reached a 70% completion on these goals.
A personal failing was not having more difficult conversations with friends, family or at work.
Lastly, I danced very poorly at clubs and to get better at this is the first goal for my 25-year-old self.
Hopeful and proud.
I’m brimming with optimism about the future; my outlook is far less pessimistic than before. I now possess a stronger sense of agency over my life—believing I can shape its trajectory. While I once took pride in my 17-year-old self’s hard work to secure a spot in a good college, my admiration has shifted to my 24-year-old self. I’m ready to carry the baton forward.